The Art of Peace

Life is growth.

Abraham Maslow (see Notes on Motivation and Personality) tells us we have a fundamental need to grow and describes this need as the need to self-actualize.

In his words: “Musicians must make music, artists must paint, poets must write if they are to be ultimately at peace with themselves. What human beings can be, they must be. They must be true to their own nature. This need we may call self-actualization… It refers to man’s desire for self-fulfillment, namely to the tendency for him to become actually in what he is potentially: to become everything one is capable of becoming.”

Here’s how Robert Cooper puts it in The Other 90% (see Notes): “Every moment of our lives we are either growing or dying—and it’s largely a choice, not fate. Throughout its life cycle, every one of the body’s trillions of cells is driven to grow and improve its ability to use more of its innate yet untapped capacity. Research biologist Albert Szent-Gyoergyi, who was twice awarded the Nobel Prize, called this syntropy, which he defined as the ‘innate drive in living matter to perfect itself.’ It turns conventional thinking upside down. As living cells—or as people—there is no staying the same. If we aim for some middle ground or status quo, it’s an illusion—beneath the surface what’s actually happening is we’re dying, not growing. And the goal of a lifetime is continued growth, not adulthood.”

And, I always love the way Denis Waitley shares the importance of growth. He shares this wisdom in The Psychology of Winning (see Notes): “One of the best ways to develop adaptability to the stresses of life is to view them as normal. Earl Nightingale tells of his visit with his son recently to the Great Barrier Reef which stretches nearly 1800 miles from New Guinea to Australia. Noticing that the coral polyps on the inside of the reef, where the sea was tranquil and quiet in the lagoon, appeared pale and lifeless… while the coral on the outside of the reef, subject to the surge of the tide and power of the waves, were bright and vibrant with splendid colors and flowing growth… Earl Nightingale asked why this was so. ‘It’s very simple,’ came the reply, ‘the coral on the lagoon-side dies rapidly with no challenge for growth and survival… while the coral facing the surge and power of the open sea, thrives and multiplies because it is challenged and tested every day. And so it is with every living organism on earth.’”

So…

How are you growing?

Love that.

–> “Progress comes to those who train and train. Reliance on secret techniques will get you nowhere.”

It’s not about finding the latest secret technique.

It’s about diligently, patiently, persistently and playfully living our values. Training day in and day out. Week in and week out. Month in and month out. Year in and year out.

George Leonard wrote an entire book on the subject called Mastery (check out the Notes). He warns us that our culture is in an all-out war against mastery—promising instant success and riches everywhere we turn, from commercials showing one climax after another to “Secret” DVDs showing us how to visualize shiny red bikes and have them show up on our doorstep the next day.

Leonard tells us: “Consistency of practice is the mark of the master.”

And he adds: “How do you best move toward mastery? To put it simply, you practice diligently, but you practice primarily for the sake of the practice itself.”

So, how’s your training?!

Are you relying a little too much on secret techniques?

What rituals do you need to bring into your life?

Tal Ben-Shahar puts it beautifully in his great book Happier (see Notes): “What rituals would make you happier? What would you like to introduce to your life? It could be working out three times a week, meditating for fifteen minutes every morning, watching two movies a month, going on a date with your spouse on Tuesdays, pleasure reading for an hour every other day, and so on. Introduce no more than one or two rituals at a time, and make sure they become habits before you introduce new ones. As Tony Schwartz says, ‘Incremental change is better than ambitious failure. …Success feeds on itself.’”

So, what’s it gonna be for you?

Let’s make it official.

I am going to introduce this ritual into my life: _________________________________

__________________________________________________________________

P.S. While we’re on the subject of rituals, how about this mojo from Tal about NEGATIVE rituals—the stuff we need to STOP doing?!? He advises: “Change, especially of deeply ingrained habits and patterns, does not happen overnight. Most important, once again, is to ritualize your activities. In addition to creating a habit of activities that you want to engage in, introduce negative rituals—times during which you refrain from doing certain things. For example, if feasible, create an Internet-free time zone, each day between certain hours. We spend an increasing amount of time on the Web; checking our e-mail every few minutes takes away from our productivity and creativity and ultimately makes us less happy. You can also introduce phone-free or meetings-free time zones, when you can fully focus on other activities, whether getting work done or spending time with your friends.”

Let’s make this one official as well.

From now on, I will not: ________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________

How beautiful is that?!

—> “There are many paths leading to the top of Mount Fuji, but there is only one summit—love.”

Reminds me of Wayne Dyer’s wisdom from Real Magic (see Notes): “The spiritual being sees the physical world as an arena for growth and learning with the specific purpose of serving and evolving into higher levels of love.”

Here’s to trekking to the Love Summit! :)

Reminds me of Confucius (see Notes on The Analects) who tells us: “The Master said, Give me a few more years, so that I may have spent a whole fifty in study, and I believe that after all I should be fairly free from error.”

Plus: “The Master said, At fifteen I set my heart upon learning. At thirty, I had planted my feet firm upon the ground. At forty, I no longer suffered from perplexities. At fifty, I knew what were the biddings of Heaven. At sixty, I heard them with a docile ear. At seventy, I could follow the dictates of my own heart; for what I desired no longer overstepped the boundaries of right.”

Unfortunately, he continues: “One who will study for three years without thought of reward would be hard indeed to find.”

Apparently this idea of thinking we should get instant rewards isn’t a new thing. :)

How are you approaching things?

Are you in a hurry?

Or can you embrace the fact that it takes ten years to master the first rung?!

Here’s to training!!!

P.S. I just love the way Vernon Howard reminds us not to be in a hurry (see Notes on The Power of Your Supermind): “Do not be impatient with your seemingly slow progress. Do not try to run faster than you presently can. If you are studying, reflecting and trying, you are making progress whether you are aware of it or not. A traveler walking the road in the darkness of night is still going forward. Someday, some way, everything will break open, like the natural unfolding of a rosebud.”

P.P.S. This also reminds me of some more George Leonard Mastery mojo. He tells us: “A practice (as a noun) can be anything you practice on a regular basis as an integral part of your life—not in order to gain something else, but for its own sake… For a master, the rewards gained along the way are fine, but they are not the main reason for the journey. Ultimately, the master and the master’s path are one. And if the traveler is fortunate—that is, if the path is complex and profound enough—the destination is two miles farther away for every mile he or she travels.”

Imagine THAT!

Being so in love with the journey that, for every mile you travel, you hope your destination is *two* miles further away! :)

Be grateful for hardships!

They are an essential part of our training!

Jonathan Haidt puts it this way in his fantastic book The Happiness Hypothesis (see Notes): “Adversity may be necessary for growth because it forces you to stop speeding along the road of life, allowing you to notice the paths that were branching off all along, and to think about where you really want to end up.”

In his great book, Thanks! (see Notes), Robert Emmons, one of the world’s leading experts on the science of gratitude, tells us: “It is relatively easy to feel grateful when good things are happening, and life is going the way we want it to. A much greater challenge is to be grateful when things are not going so well, and are not going the way we think they should. Anger, bitterness, and resentment seem to be so much easier, so much more a natural reaction in times like these…

The religious traditions encourage us to do more than react with passivity and resignation to loss and crisis; they advise us to change our perspective, so that our suffering is transformed into an opportunity for growth. Not only does the experience of tragedy give us an exceptional opportunity for growth, but some sort of suffering is also necessary for a person to achieve maximal psychological growth. In his study of self-actualizers, the paragons of mental wellness, the famed humanistic psychologist Abraham Maslow noted that “the most important learning lessons… were tragedies, deaths, and trauma… which forced change in the life-outlook of the person and consequently in everything that he did.””

And, I just LOVE the way Vernon Howard puts it in The Power of Your Supermind (see Notes): “If your grand purpose in life is to wake up, then whatever happens to you is good, for it can prod you into self-awakening.”

Vernon also says: “If it takes apparent misfortune to turn us into true philosophers and doers of good to receive good, then apparent misfortune is our greatest fortune.”

So, let’s remember to cultivate gratitude for EVERYTHING in our lives as we remember that it’s ALL necessary for our ultimate growth!

And, let’s remember to bring it back to you and get specific:

What’s something you’re resisting in your life right now?

Can you shift your perspective on it to see the opportunity for growth?

That’s strong.

Reminds me of Rumi’s wisdom (see Notes). He tells us: “This discipline and rough treatment are a furnace to extract the silver from the dross. This testing purifies the gold by boiling the scum away.”

Plus: “If you are irritated by every rub, how will you be polished?”

Nietzsche (see Notes on Thus Spoke Zarathustra) puts it this way: “He who has always spared himself much will in the end become sickly of so much consideration. Praised be what hardens!”

Jack Canfield gives us this forging tip in his wisdom-packed book, The Success Principles (see Notes): “Successful people adhere to the ‘no exceptions rule’ when it comes to their daily disciplines. Once you make a 100% commitment to something, there are no exceptions. It’s a done deal. Nonnegotiable. Case closed! Over and out.”

Here’s to embracing the forging process of life as we extract the silver from the dross and make 100% commitments to our practices! :)

I repeat: Heaven is right where we’re standing and this is the place to train.

So, what’re you waiting for?! :)

All kinds of teachers advise us to see life as our classroom.

Let’s take a quick peek at a few of my favorite gems:

In Constructive Living (see Notes), David Reynolds echoes this wisdom by telling us: “Every situation, every moment, provides the opportunity for self- growth and development of your character.”

In Think on These Things (see Notes), Krishnamurti tells us: “To be a real student is to learn all the time.”

And continues by saying: “Do you know what it means to learn? When you are really learning you are learning throughout your life and there is no one special teacher to learn from. Then everything teaches you—a deaf leaf, a bird in flight, a smell, a tear, the rich and the poor, those who are crying, the smile of a woman, the haughtiness of a man. You learn from everything, therefore there is no guide, no philosopher, no guru. Life itself is your teacher, and you are in a state of constant learning.”

In Big Mind Big Heart (see Notes), Genpo Roshi tells us we need to tear down the temple walls and see every moment as an opportunity to rock it: “We’re at the point in our evolution that we all have to become conscious. This is a time of revolution. There’s no holding back. So I’m about tearing down the monastery walls and seeing the whole world as the monastery, as the practice, as the spiritual temple. What we’re all working on is this very being, this very life. This is the temple, it has no walls.”

In Love (see Notes), Leo Buscaglia tells us: “A total immersion in life offers the best classroom for learning to love.”