The first of The 7 Cs of Success tells us we’re gonna have a hard time rockin’ our most authentically awesome lives unless we have a clear Conception/Vision of what that ideal looks like. Reminds me of a few of my favorite teachers and their mojo on happiness.
First, Jonathan Haidt, a leading positive psychologist who wrote the brilliant Happiness Hypothesis (see Note) who tells us: “Aristotle asked about areté (excellence/virtue) and telos (purpose/goal), and he used the metaphor that people are like archers, who need a clear target at which to aim. Without a target or goal, one is left with the animal default: Just let the elephant graze or roam where he pleases. And because elephants live in herds, one ends up doing what everyone else is doing.”
And, Stephen Covey in his classic 7 Habits of Highly Effective People (see Notes) tells us: ““Begin with the end in mind” is based on the principle that all things are created twice. There’s a mental or first creation, and a physical or second creation to all things.”
And, finally, Robin Sharma, who gives us this goodness in his wise fable The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari (see Notes): “All I’m saying is that to liberate the potential of your mind, body and soul, you must first expand your imagination. You see, things are always created twice: first in the workshop of the mind and then, and only then, in reality. I call this process ‘blueprinting’ because anything you create in your outer world began as a simple blueprint in your inner world.”
So, it’s clear we need goals, but Morris points out that we need the *right* goals.
Too often, “success” books get us all hyped up about how we can “manifest” (I have an allergy to that word :) shiny stuff if we just visualize it long enough but they usually don’t stress the importance of setting *appropriate* goals. (And, often the importance of actually taking action.)
So, what are the right goals?
Morris talks about the importance of trusting our intuition and knowing that if it looks too good to be true, it probably is. He also says: “I recommend to people who feel they have no goals that they make a list of their likes and dislikes, because I firmly believe that our likes and dislikes, our loves and hates, our attractions and aversions, are often the keys to our talents, signs of what we are here in this world to do. They can also be signs of our deepest values.”
When I talk about goals, I like to differentiate between “Bling” goals and “Being” goals.
Bling = All the fame/power/wealth/bucket list stuff most traditional success books get us all geeked up about.
Being = What actually leads to happiness: Developing virtue while creating a life of meaning as we strive to see how we can use our greatest gifts in greatest service to the world.
As Tom points out later in the book, when we focus on our deeper purpose and aligning with The 7 Cs of success, the “bling” of fame/wealth/power, is, at best, a side effect or by-product of creating an otherwise extraordinary life.
He also has this genius wisdom: “One of the great modern ailments of humanity is the enslavement to illusory pursuits… If we get the prize, it strangely fails to satisfy as promised. If we fail in our quest, we feel unnecessary despondency. We’re oddly depressed about not getting what would not have satisfied us if we had managed to snag it. And then, all too often, we just begin a new and equally illusory pursuit.”
The solution? “The meaning of life is not to be found in having lots of money, fame, prestige, or stuff. It’s to be found in living your proper quest of positive achievement. Make a difference in the lives of other people, make a difference for good, create new relationships, new feelings, new structures of goodness in the world by what you do and who you are, and you will feel in that process what we so often seek with such futility in all the wrong places. The right sort of quest can be enjoyed at the deepest possible levels.”
