That’s from a mini-chapter by Heidi Grant Halvorson.
Heidi was a student of Carol Dweck’s at Columbia University. As discussed, Dweck is one of the leading scientists studying what is now called the “growth mindset.” Check out our Notes on Dweck’s Mindset + Self-theories for more. (And, check out our Note on Heidi’s Succeed as well.)
The study was super simple.
Split kids into two groups. Both groups take an easy test. Both groups do equally well. The first group is told “You did really well. You must be really smart!” while the second group is told “You did really well. You must have worked really hard!”
That’s the only difference. “You must be smart!” Or, “You must have worked really hard!”
Then the experimenters give the kids a super hard test—so hard that no one can really even answer any questions.
Then the real test began. They gave the kids another easy test—basically the same level of difficulty they faced in the initial test.
What happens?
The kids who were praised as “smart” did 25% (!) worse than they did in the initial test while the kids praised for working really hard did 25% (!) BETTER.
Think about that for a moment longer. If they both started out at the same level, say a baseline score of 1, and the first group did 25% worse, they’d be at .75. The second group would be 25% better than their original score so they’d land at 1.25. That’s nearly TWICE as good as the other group. That’s nuts.
All from a few words of praise after doing a simple task.
Imagine that compounded over hundreds and thousands of little instances over months and years and decades. How would that impact performance over the long run?
Hard to say but the possibilities are, to me at least, MIND-BOGGLING.
Which is why this wisdom is one of the cornerstones of our parenting with Emerson.
Here’s a super mundane little example of how ubiquitous our default orientation is. Emerson and I are at the park a couple days ago on our daily adventure. He’s climbing up the tunnel slide to get back to the top. A kid who’s a little older is sitting there with his mom watching and asks, “How did he do that?”
His mom immediately answers: “He’s talented.”
Now, before studying this stuff, as a proud dad I’m sure I would have simply agreed! (Hah.) “He’s just a good climber!” would feel like an appropriate analysis of his somewhat precocious Spider-Man-like abilities.
Of course, I’m ALL ABOUT this wisdom these days and practice recognizing effort rather than (supposedly) innate ability so I said, “He’s been practicing!” Which is true. He didn’t used to be able to do it but tried a bunch of different techniques and figured it out. (Note: The biggest test was removing his shoes so they wouldn’t make him slip. Laughing.)
So, back to our smart kids.
Why did their performance crumble after facing the challenging task?
In short: Because, when told they did well because they were “smart,” when they faced challenges and did *not* do well, suddenly they became nervous that they were NOT, in fact, smart. That’s a terrifying prospect for any one. And, when faced with that potentiality, what do kids (and adults) do? Easy stuff. We no longer challenge ourselves because, as Heidi tells us, we want to “be good” rather than try to “get better.”
Which, of course, is one of the fastest ways to limit our enormous potential.
So…
How do you talk to yourself and your kids (and friends and colleagues…)?
Are you rewarding EFFORT or praising “smartness.”
Pay attention. It matters WAY more than we could imagine!!