This message is the cornerstone of Frankl’s philosophy and, of course, is echoed among the great teachers we profile with these Notes.
Here are a few of my favorite thoughts on the subject:
From Marcus Aurelius in his Meditations (see Notes): “Your mind will be like its habitual thoughts; for the soul becomes dyed with the color of its thoughts. Soak it then in such trains of thoughts as, for example: Where life is possible at all, a right life is possible.” And: “If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself but to your own estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.”
To another Stoic philosopher (and former Roman slave), Epictetus, in The Enchiridion (see Notes): “We cannot choose our external circumstances, but we can always choose how we respond to them.”
To Jesus: “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”
To Lao-tzu in the Tao te Ching (see Notes): “Hold on to the center and make up your mind to rejoice in this paradise called life.”
To the Buddha in The Dhammapada (see Notes): “Our life is shaped by our mind. We become what we think.”
To Martin Luther King, Jr.: “The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort but where he stands at times of challenge and discovery.”
To Dan Millman in The Way of the Peaceful Warrior: “Pain is a relatively objective, physical phenomenon; suffering is our psychological resistance to what happens. Events may create physical pain, but they do not in themselves create suffering. Resistance creates suffering. Stress happens when your mind resists what is… The only problem in your life is your mind’s resistance to life as it unfolds.”
To Carlos Castaneda in The Wheel of Time (see Notes): “The basic difference between an ordinary man and a warrior is that a warrior takes everything as a challenge, while an ordinary man takes everything as a blessing or a curse.” And: “The trick is in what one emphasizes. We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same.”
To Norman Vincent Peale in The Power of Positive Thinking: “Become a possibilitarian. No matter how dark things seem to be or actually are, raise your sights and see possibilities—always see them, for they’re always there.”
And countless others.
Frankl is the poster child for the admonition that we MUST recognize the fact that we have responsibility to choose how we respond to any given situation. Frankl, a man who lost his entire family and barely survived the horrors of the Nazi concentration camps of WW II, developed this philosophy in the midst of the most brutal experience any human being will ever go through.
We’ve all experienced many things that we wish never happened. But the fact is only very few among us have experienced anything as ghastly as losing our entire family and nearly losing our own lives in the horrors of a concentration camp. And if this man can choose his attitude in his situation, we can certainly choose OUR responses. No?
So, what’s bothering you right now?
You get a parking ticket? Lose your job? Relationship not working? Kids being a challenge? Get sick?
Of course, any and all of the challenges we face in our day to day lives can bring us turmoil, but NEVER forget that, ultimately, how you CHOOSE to respond to the challenge is entirely your call.
DO NOT be a victim to the myriad of petty things that we can CHOOSE to let bother us. Own your attitude. CHOOSE how you will respond to any given situation.
My personal recommendation?
Flip it around and think about all the things for which you’re grateful.
Get a parking ticket? Be grateful you even have a car. Be grateful you’re going to be able to help pay for someone’s wages for part of the day. Stub your toe? Be grateful you HAVE a toe to stub and such a great life that that’s probably the worst thing that’s going to happen to you today. Kids being a little challenging? Be grateful they’re healthy enough to make so much noise and honor them for the growth you both experience together.
Whatever it is, choose your optimal response.
Now.