If you’re feelin’ it, you’re going to want to get the book to read a deeper explanation of the process and, most importantly, to see the brilliant examples of Katie working with many people over a range of issues (from relationship challenges to parenting issues, work stuff, etc.).
Here’s the essence of The Work:
Think of something that’s annoying you. It could be something in the past that still burns you up every time you think about it or it could be a current drama in your life. Something that really gets ya.
Got it? Good.
Now, write it down.
(It’s mandatory that you WRITE all this stuff down otherwise you can’t slow your mind down enough to do The Work.)
Katie has a specific process she uses to help you get your frustrations in writing—she calls it the ‘Judge Your Neighbor’ worksheet and you should get the book to use it to dig deep.
For now? Write down what’s upsetting you.
For example, it could go something like this: “Bob is a complete jerk. He should do what he said he was going to do. Because he didn’t, I’m suffering.”
Got it?
What’s yours? (You write it down? :)
OK. Now that you’ve got your issue, let’s do The Work on it, shall we?
Read your statement and ask yourself: “Is it true?”
So, for me, we’ll start with the first statement: “Bob is a complete jerk.” Although my first response may be, “Yes!!,” if I’m honest, the answer is, “No.” He’s not a complete jerk. Sometimes he can be cool.
If you get stuck on #1, then go to #2 and ask yourself: “Can I be absolutely certain that it’s true?” You’re going to be hard-pressed to find a situation where that answer is yes. :)
From there, ask yourself: “How do I react when I think that thought?”
Well, when I think the thought that Bob is a complete jerk, I get angry. I feel myself burning up a bit inside. I’m tense. I treat him like a jerk and I’m not pleasant to be around. I’m bitter. I don’t particularly like feeling like that. (Schew!)
Powerful.
OK. Then ask yourself the question: “Who would I be without the thought?”
Well, if I didn’t have the thought that Bob was a complete jerk, I’d probably be able to see more of his good qualities. I’d feel lighter and happier and less stressed. It would be a nice place to be. (Ahhhh…)
OK. “And then … Turn it around.”
Turning it around is simply taking what you said and “turning it around” to it’s opposite. So, for me, it would be “I am a complete jerk.” (!!) Or “Bob is *not* a complete jerk.”
Are those “turnarounds” equally or more true than the original statements? The answer is always yes. :)
Now I would go back thru to my second statement (“He should do what he said he was going to do.”) and do the four questions and turnarounds on it.
Got it?
Now try yours!!