Golden Rules for Everyday Life

That’s micro-chapter/Rule #2 entitled: “Reconciling material life and spiritual life.”

(Note: The intro quote above was Rule #1: “Life is our most precious possession.”)

I was reminded of a few other great philosophers as I read that passage: Ralph Waldo Emerson, Marcus Aurelius and my Yoda Phil Stutz.

Emerson tells us: “It is easy in the world to live after the world’s opinion; it is easy in solitude to live after our own; but the great man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude.”

While Aurelius tells us: “Men seek for seclusion in the wilderness, by the seashore, or in the mountains – a dream you have cherished too fondly yourself. But such fancies are wholly unworthy of a philosopher, since at any moment you choose you can retire within yourself. Nowhere can man find a quieter or more untroubled retreat than in his own soul; above all, he possesses resources in himself, which he need only contemplate to secure immediate ease of mind – the ease that is but another word for a well-ordered spirit. Avail yourself often, then, of this retirement and so continually renew yourself.”

Then we have Phil Stutz. This theme of balancing the material and spiritual comes up often in our weekly Coaching sessions together. (btw: My stack of notes on our chats is now several inches thick. We’re officially 2.5 years into our work together. That’s over 100 sessions now.)

I like the way Phil puts it. In short, he tells us that we need to make sure we’re taking care of BOTH the material *and* the spiritual.

BUT…

We want to make sure the spiritual side of things always gets at least 51%.

Not necessarily 90% (and definitely not 99% if we want to function well in the world), but DEFINITELY more than 50%.

Most people get it backwards. Which is one of the main reasons most people suffer more than they need to.

51%.

How’s YOUR ratio?

That’s our 12th Rule/micro-chapter: “Prepare the future by living well today.”

Pure G E N I U S.

Let’s review some key points.

“The future will be what you have made it in the present.”

“It is TODAY that is important.”

“The past is past but it has given birth to the present, and the present contains the roots of the future. This means that you must build your future in advance by improving the present.”

In other words: TODAY’S THE DAY. Let’s act like we mean it. #carpediem

And… Then there’s the end-of-the-day goodness. Have a bad day? Try to make your last moments awesome. (Rather than indulging in all your kryptonite behaviors that catalyze a vicious cycle that gains velocity and ruins your next morning as well!)

I absolutely LOVE that metaphor.

Imagine cruising down the street. You’re so busy looking down at your smartphone (hah) that you don’t notice the new concrete that was just poured on the sidewalk. You step right in it.

Then… You’re so lost in thought (and/or tapping away at the screen you’re staring at) that you don’t move and/or notice the concrete hardening around your feet until… OOPS! You’re stuck.

Moral of the metaphor: Ideally, avoid stepping in the concrete in the first place but… When you inevitably do, don’t let it harden!!

In other words: Notice and then FIX YOUR MISTAKES quickly while it’s still relatively easier.

Omraam puts it another way: “When a disaster occurs in the ordinary way of life, we see how firemen or soldiers immediately come to the rescue to put out a fire, repair bridges, clear the roads, rescue the injured and so on. People find it perfectly natural to repair physical damage immediately, but when it comes to the inner world, they don’t know what to do; they look on without reacting as the destruction continues. No, you must look into yourself and see what needs to be repaired, five, ten, twenty times a day, and not leave it until later. Otherwise, when ‘later’ comes it will be too late. You will have already fallen to pieces and been annihilated.”

So… Step in any concrete lately? Let’s remember to get ourselves out quickly!

P.S. I’m also reminded of some Pema Chödrön metaphorical concrete wisdom. In The Places That Scare You, she says: “This is the path we take in cultivating joy: learning not to armor our basic goodness, learning to appreciate what we have. Most of the time we don’t do this. Rather than appreciate where we are, we continually struggle to nurture our dissatisfaction. It’s like trying to get flowers to grow by pouring cement on the garden.”

Ah, the pearl oyster. Now, THAT is a wise creature. I’m a big fan. :)

In fact, I carry a pearl in my pocket most days. And, when my little pearl isn’t in my pocket, it’s front-and-center on my desk as a constant reminder of that ancient wisdom Omraam so beautifully captures in that passage above.

We talk about How to Make a Pearl in this +1.

It’s a FASCINATING process.

Insert irritant. Add a magical substance the oyster releases called “nacre.” Repeat thousands of times. And… VOILA! Pearl.

Practically speaking: Got any irritants in YOUR life these days? Let’s turn it into a pearl.

Like all great teachers, Omraam is a brilliant storyteller and creates some great, vivid images to bring his wisdom home.

I love that picture of us with coal-black hands trying to remove a speck of dirt from a friend’s face. What happens? Exactly. Everyone just gets dirtier. Oops.

Solution? We need to wash our hands first. We need to do the work diligently, patiently and persistently as we strive to become radiant exemplars.

Then we let THAT energy work its magic.

btw: Speaking of coal… Epictetus comes to mind. In his Discourses, he tells us: “It is inevitable if you enter into relations with people on a regular basis, either for conversation, dining or simple friendship, that you will grow to be like them, unless you can get them to emulate you. Place an extinguished piece of coal next to a live one, and either it will cause the other one to die out, or the live one will make it reignite. Since a lot is at stake, you should be careful about fraternizing with non-philosophers in these contexts; remember that if you consort with someone covered in dirt you can hardly avoid getting a little grimy yourself.”

Love. It’s the secret sauce. Of leadership. Of heroism. Of life.

In The Leadership Challenge, James Kouzes and Barry Pozner tell us: “Of all the things that sustain a leader over time, love is the most lasting. It’s hard to imagine leaders getting up day after day, putting in the long hours and hard work it takes to get extraordinary things done, without having their hearts in it. The best-kept secret of successful leaders is love: staying in love with leading, with the people who do the work, with what their organizations produce, and with those who honor the organization by using its products and services. Leadership is not an affair of the head. Leadership is an affair of the heart.”

Christopher McDougall puts it this way in Natural Born Heroes: “And what Plutarch taught them is this: Heroes care. True heroism, as the ancients understood, isn’t about strength, or boldness, or even courage. It’s about compassion. When the Greeks created the heroic ideal, they didn’t choose a word that mean ‘Dies Trying’ or ‘Massacres Bad Guy.’ They went with hērōs—‘protector’ … Empathy, the Greeks believed, was a source of strength, not softness; the more you recognized yourself in others and connected with their distress, the more endurance, wisdom, cunning, and determination you could tap into.”

As I read that passage, I also thought of our Love 0.0 + Love 1.0 + Love 2.0 + Love 3.0 model.

The quick recap: Love 0.0 = Loving ourselves. Love 1.0 = Loving our families and friends. Love 2.0 = Micro-moments of loving people we run into during the day. Love 3.0 = Heroically loving all of life’s challenges while encouraging others to see the power within themselves.

Let’s add Love Infinity.0—extending our Love to everyone and everything. TODAY.

P.S. Omraam also puts it this way: “Pure water wells up in a continuous stream from a natural spring, and even if people try to pollute it by throwing rubbish into it, it continually cleanses itself and washes all the dirt away. A spring is always pure and alive, because never for one moment does it stop flowing. What better philosophy could you have than that of a spring?

Model yourself on the spring; be like a spring. That is to say: love; in spite of everything, never stop the flow of love. Your love will protect you from impurities and suffering. If someone tries to slander or injure you in some way, you will not even notice it: the stream will simply wash it all away. Keep this picture of the spring that washes away all negativity and impurities alive within you. Never stop loving, and you will no longer suffer.”