“Like the speech I gave at the Institute for Living that June day, this book is the story of my time at the institute, how I came to make that vow, how I managed to climb out of hell myself—and how I managed to find ways to help others get out of hell, too.
My life is something of a mystery because, to this day, I have no idea how I descended into hell so swiftly and completely, at the age of eighteen. I hope that my success in getting out of hell and staying out will bring hope to those who are still in hell. My basic belief is that if I can do it, others can do it, too.
My story has four threads, woven closely together.
The first is what I know of my descent into hell, and how that led to the vow to get out of hell and then to get others out.
The second is my spiritual journey—the journey that saved me. It is the story of how I ultimately became a Zen master, a path that profoundly influenced my approach to developing DBT, most particularly as it led to my bringing mindfulness into psychotherapy.
The third is my life as a research professor—how that shaped my ability to reach my goal, and the difficulties I faced along the way to overcome the mistakes I made and the multiple rejections I experienced.
The fourth is the story of the enormous power of love in my life... The power of accepting the kindness and love of so many people who were always ready to pull me up. And, in turn, the power of loving others, which pulled me up from falling in its own way. …
My story is also a story of both faith and how important luck can be. It is a story of never giving up. It is a story of failure after failure, but of somehow always getting up (or being pulled up) again and again, and carrying on. It is a story of persistence, of acceptance—a big part of DBT is saying yes.”
~ Marsha Lineman from Building a Life Worth Living
Marsha Lineman is the creator of something called “Dialectical Behavior Therapy.”
I got this book after Peter Attia described how he transformed his life via wisdom from Marsha’s philosophy. He discussed her work in the final section of his book Outlive in which he discusses the importance of emotional health for one’s longevity.
As Angela Duckworth puts it on the cover, this book is: “A brilliant memoir by one of the greatest pioneers in psychotherapy history.” Although there were a few other books on the subject I could have started with, I felt drawn to Marsha’s memoir for a couple reasons.
First, Tal Ben-Shahar was in my mind. In our Heroic Chat with Masters (check it out!), he said that he thinks (auto)biographies are the best self-development books you can read.
Second, Marsha’s story is INCREDIBLE—truly Heroic. She spent over TWO YEARS in a mental health institution as a young woman. She made a vow to God that, if she was able to escape her personal hell, she would do everything she could to help others escape their personal hells.
THAT is what led to her creating Dialectical Behavior Therapy—which was originally created to help people with suicidal ideation and self-harm behaviors and has been extended to help people deal with a range of issues.
Marsha has trained over 10,000 therapists worldwide in DBT. In 2011, the editors of Time magazine named DBT one of the 100 most important new science ideas of our time. The book is PACKED with Big Ideas and I’m excited to share some of my favorites so let’s jump straight in!
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