Barking Up the Wrong Tree

That’s from a chapter that lets us know why valedictorians rarely top the success list. :)

First, an etymology lesson: The word eccentric comes from the Greek ekkentros which comes from ek (“out of”) + kentron (“center”). To be away from the center. To be willing to NOT conform. To be different. “Slightly strange” as the dictionary puts it.

Not different or strange in some superficial, check me out my hair is weird kinda way per se, but as a result of our deep, fundamental commitment to expressing ourselves in an authentic, courageous way. And, as Eric says, crazy-brilliant, not crazy-crazy—having, in the words of leading creativity researcher Dean Keith Simonton “just the right amount of weirdness.” :)

In Motivation and Personality, Abraham Maslow tells us that one of the 19 characteristics of his self-actualizing individual is a resistance to enculturation, saying: “Of all of them it may be said that in a certain profound and meaningful sense they resist enculturation and maintain a certain inner detachment from the culture in which they are immersed.”

Autonomy is another one of the attributes of the best (and often most eccentric) among us. Here’s how Maslow captures the essence of that quality: “They have become strong enough to be independent of the good opinion of other people, or even of their affection. The honors, the status, the rewards, the popularity, the prestige, and the love they can bestow must have become less important than self- development and inner growth.”

And, I love this line from Eric: “We spend too much time trying to be ‘good’ when good is often merely average. To be great we must be different.” Reminds me of Peter Drucker’s wisdom from The Effective Executive where he tells us that “There is no such thing as a ‘good man.’ Good for what? is the question.” Drucker forcefully tells us that trying to be a “well-adjusted personality” is a prescription for mediocrity. We need to know that “Where there are peaks, there are valleys. And no one is strong in many areas.”

The question is: Where do your strengths lie? How can you make them productive in service to the world? (Well, what are they and how can you? :)

Then it’s time to embrace the science of being an Iconoclast. Three steps as you may recall: 1. See the world differently and create a compelling alternate vision. 2. Tame your amygdala to deal with the inevitable push back of being different. 3. Be a fair and trustworthy person.

Here’s to stepping out of the center—with just the right amount of weirdness.

Willpower. We have a whole Wisdom Pack on it you might enjoy. (Check it out!)

It’s fascinating stuff. Some research shows that your willpower is like a muscle or smartphone battery—it gets depleted the more it is used. And, other research shows that’s all about how you perceive the effort involved.

Teeth-gritting-get-yourself-to-do-it willpower? Yep. Depletion.

Having fun, make it a game in pursuit of something deeply meaningful to see what we can do with willpower? Nope. Stays strong.

Eric refers to Walter Mischel in that passage above. He’s the guy who wrote The Marshmallow Test about his decades of research on self-control. Here’s how he puts it: “Mark’s [an elite Navy SEAL Team Six member] experiences and triumphs illustrate the importance of an implicit theory of willpower that is open to virtually limitless development, combined with burning goals that fuel and sustain effort and grit, and a social environment that provides inspiring models and support. All of these play into the relentless training and self-discipline needed to become truly exceptional—whether the goal is to play Bach at Carnegie Hall, win the Nobel Prize in physics, gather gold medals at the Olympics, move from poverty in the South Bronx to Yale University, become a Navy SEAL, or, in the preschool version, collect marshmallows — when 15 minutes feels like a lifetime.”

Plus: “If you believe that persisting on tough tasks is energizing rather than depleting, will it protect you from fatigue? Indeed yes: when people are led to think that effortful tasks will invigorate rather than drain them, they improve their performance on a later task.”

And: “At Stanford University, Carol Dweck and her colleagues found that those who believed that their stamina fueled itself after tough mental exertion did not show diminished self-control after a depleting exercise. In contrast, those who believed that their energy was depleted after a strenuous experience did show diminished self-control and had to rest to refuel.”

So… How can you make your life into more of a game and less of a grind?

Here’s one way to do that: Follow Teresa Amabile’s wisdom and create small wins. All day every day. Break your big goals down into discrete, super-micro goals and go crush them like you’re playing a video game collecting points and advancing levels.

Remember: Change the way you think about your effort and its effects on you change.

P.S. Eric walks us through the specifics of game design and how to apply it to our lives. Here’s the super quick take. Good games have four elements: 1. They are Winnable + 2. They present Novel Challenges + 3. They have clear Goals + 4. They present quick Feedback.

Check out the book for more. For now: Is your life filled with Winnable, Novel Goals and Feedback? What’s one way you might be able to Optimize that a little more today?

That is solid gold.

It’s from a chapter called “Work, Work, Work … or Work-Life Balance?” in which we meet some unhealthy perfectionists and discover how to optimize our systems so we can put in the requisite work to succeed (there’s no question that the number of hours of effort put in is the driving force for greatness) AND enjoy the process.

One key way to do that?

Figure out what it takes for you to be at your best. And then make doing THAT your priority.

Result? The super-energized, enthusiastic, optimistic version of you can crank out more work in 3 hours than the cranky, sleep-deprived version of you can crank out in 10.

Then, put those 3 hours into a super-focused, distraction-free bubble of deep awesome on a fresh brain that hasn’t been polluted with email and notifications and you’ll do 10 times more than the distracted, cranky, tired version of you does in 10 hours. And, in reality, you’ll do higher *quality* work that the other version of you can’t even do in an unlimited amount of time.

We talked about this in Productivity 101. Before we got to the “Time Management” section of the class, we covered “Energy Management.” As Tony Schwartz says: “Energy, not time, is the fundamental currency of high performance.”

Now, let’s chat about Dan Ariely’s point that we’re at our best shortly after waking up.

Note: Not IMMEDIATELY after waking up but an hour or so later—which works out for me because it takes me about 50 minutes to do my morning routine before Deep Work (brushing the ol’ teeth then meditating for 20, light movement for 5, and then… IT’S ON!).

So, when do you get up? Give yourself an hour to dust off the brain. Then crush it in that precious window of potential peak performance.

In our Note on Manage Your Day-to-Day, we highlighted some more wisdom from Dan. He tells us: “So if your e-mail is running and it is telling you that a message is waiting for you, that’s going to be very hard to resist. In your mind, you’ll keep thinking about what exciting things are waiting for you. Now, if you never opened your e-mail, you would do much better.

It would be probably best if managers went to the IT department and asked them that e-mail not be distributed between eight and eleven every morning. The idea that the best way to communicate with people is 24/7 is not really an idea about maximizing productivity.”

Two things there: 1) Don’t even open your email before you create. Again, be CREATIVE before reactive! 2) Keep it off until you’ve cranked through your best time. (Perhaps we need a no email till 11am rule?)

Wrapping this idea up: What do you do when you’re on? What are your keystone habits? —> “Why not focus less on hours and more on doing what it takes to make sure you’re at your best.”

As we know, Anders Ericsson wrote Peak and did the research on what makes great people great. They put in a ton of time. (Hello, 10,000+ hours!) They also sleep a lot more than most. (Hello, 8 hours and 36 minutes!)

And… They had great teachers. A master mentor—someone with a *proven* ability to take other students to a world-class level. That mentor helped them hone their skills and push them to become their very best. And… They made the process fun. “They add a relationship to the stress and help you overcome the frustration while pushing you to be your best.”

I know I’ve benefited from a number of mentors. These days I feel blessed to have my Yoda, Phil Stutz. It’s almost weird how his guidance is helping me step up and into the next best expression of me. The distinctions we’re making are subtle yet ineffably profound—crystallizing wisdom that was there but not quite fully integrated. As he says, like a hand on my shoulder.

Do you have any mentors in your life? Anyone who has or is helping you Optimize and actualize? Think about that. Send some gratitude. And think about how you might be able to invest a little more energy here.

Looking for a mentor? Eric’s #1 tip on how to get access to a master teacher with a proven ability to help students reach a world-class level? Simple. “Be a worthy pupil, grasshopper.”

Other tips: “Study them. No, REALLY study them. “Wasting a mentor’s time is a mortal sin.” And, perhaps most importantly and something that certainly drives me, “Make them proud.”

We talked about this in our Notes on Csikszentmihalyi’s Creativity. And, I was just chatting about it with Alexandra in the kitchen yesterday as we were making dinner.

Think about that for a moment. We have one of the world’s preeminent and most-respected researchers reaching out to people for a study that will be significant and well publicized. Probably only asking for a couple hours of their time. One third said NO. And a bunch didn’t even reply. Of course, Drucker’s response was legendary. “Sorry, sir. I have a huge trash can explicitly for invitations like this. Can’t do it. Must carry on.”

The audacity of him and those other creators! How could they? Who do they think they are? Precisely (!) the eccentric, iconoclastic audacity we discussed in our first idea. And that we talk about exhaustively in Productivity 101. We must say “YES!!” to our most wildly important goals so we can politely yet firmly say no to all the other requests that come in.

To what do you need to say Yes and No?

Yes: ____________

No: _________________________________________________________

Recall Warren Buffett’s wisdom: “The difference between successful people and very successful people is that very successful people say no to almost everything.”

Alignment.

Reminds me of another word: euthymia. The tranquility we get when we live a life of integrity.

And, in this case, you know what Eric tells us is the most important variable? “Being connected to a group of friends and loved ones who help you become the person you want to be. Financial success is great, but to have a successful life we need happiness. Career success doesn’t always make us happy, but the research shows that happiness brings success.”

So… How can you align your life around your relationships a little more today?

My immediate next step? Head downstairs and show my family I love them with some quality presence and fun! And… I appreciate YOU. Thanks for being my virtual friend and supporting me in being the person I want to be. I’m honored to be a part of your life in supporting YOU in becoming the person you want to be!

With love,

B