Fearless

That’s hilarious.

And wise.

First: Problems. We need to approach them as life-changing gifts.

How?

By moving from paranoid mode to creative mode. (Hah. :)

Then what happens?

As Steve so wonderfully says: “All problems become advanced seminars in What I Now Need to Learn to Advance on this Spiritual Journey Up the Ladder of Consciousness to Some Real Fun and Good Mischief and a condition we’ve all heard described as fearless.”

Me likes.

How can you work this formula with your current problems? :)

I love that.

First: Fear doesn’t just jump out of the closet and scare the daylights out of us.

Thoughts create fear.

If we want to get rid of the fear (and the icky feelings that come along for the ride) we need to CHALLENGE those thoughts.

And challenge them some more. Then challenge them some more.

This is the essence of sound psychological functioning.

Here’s how Albert Ellis, one of the godfathers of the cognitive behavioral movement puts it in his classic book, A Guide to Rational Living (see Notes): “A discussion of the roots of neurosis is mainly a discussion of distorted thinking. From the point of view of mind/brain as computer, most human beings are innately poor programmers. They seldom succeed in setting themselves up to get along very happily in an imperfect world. Neurotics are especially bad at it. Although irrational behavior is sometimes due to faulty “hardware,” such as neurological impairment, it is also due to faulty “software,” to self-created, self-defeating Irrational Beliefs.”

In The How of Happiness (see Notes), Sonja Lyubomirsky tells us: “Write down your barrier thoughts, and then consider ways to reinterpret the situation. In the process, ask yourself questions like… What else could this situation or experience mean? Can anything good come from it? Does it present any opportunities for me? What lessons can I learn and apply to the future? Did I develop any strengths as a result?”

And I love how Steve puts it in another one of his great books we profile called 100 Ways to Motivate Yourself (see Notes) where he tells us: “Start to argue against your first line of reasoning. Pretend you’re an attorney whose job is to prove the pessimist in you wrong. Start off on building your case for what’s possible. You’ll surprise yourself. Optimism is by nature expansive—it opens door after door to what’s possible. Pessimism is just the opposite—it is constrictive. It shuts the door on possibility. If you really want to open up your life and motivate yourself to succeed, become an optimistic thinker.”

As we discuss all the time throughout these Notes, we’ve gotta assume more control of our thoughts and only let the good ones hang around!

What thoughts do you have that need to be challenged?!

Get on that! :)

Wow.

Where are YOU focusing your energy?

If you’re stressed/anxious/fearful right now, odds are you’re focusing more on what you’re going to get (or fail to get) and not focused enough on what you can GIVE.

Switch that around and see how you feel!!!

So…

How can you give more in your life today?!

While you get to work on that, here’s another way to make the get-to-give switch:

Stressed about money?

Focus on creating something masterful.

As Steve advises, fear and that focus simply can’t coexist together.

Don’t believe him?

Try it. :)

P.S. Here’s how Wayne Dyer puts it in Real Magic (see Notes): “When you are able to shift your inner awareness to how you can serve others, and when you make this the central focus of your life, you will then be in a position to know true miracles in your progress toward prosperity.”

Wow again.

→ “We’re all of us failures—at least, the best of us are.”

It is, in fact, a tectonic shift to think that the best of us fail and the worst of us have never failed at anything.

Forgive yourself for your shortcomings and failures and let’s make the shift!

P.S. Remember T.S. Eliot’s gem: “Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.”

This is another funny (and brilliant!) one. :)

Who could YOU become to fearlessly deal with whatever’s stressing you out right now?

As Steve suggests: “Why not make up someone who would serve you instead of feeling like you’re stuck in someone who does not?”

This “other” person can be someone you admire or it can even be the ideal version of YOU.

In his great book, Rethinking Depression (see Notes), Eric Maisel tells us that one of the most powerful ways to create meaning and take effective action in our lives is to ask ourselves “What would the person I would like to be do in this moment?”

That’s become a guiding mantra for me lately.

Along with another question from Eric: “How can you make yourself proud?”

I just love those questions.

So, whether you imagine acting as if you’re an entirely different person or just the ideal version of you, have some fun breaking out of your bonds of fear and rock it! :)

If your life isn’t quite going the way you’d like, check in and see where you are in your own line of people waiting to see you next week!

Just like the parent needs to put the oxygen mask on their face first to best serve their kids, we need to make sure we’re taking care of ourselves.

ESPECIALLY when our lives have capsized and we’re upside down!!!

I repeat: ESPECIALLY when our lives have capsized and we’re upside down.

Here’s how Carol Dweck, a Stanford professor and one of the world’s leading experts on motivation puts it in her great book, Mindset (see Notes): “How do you act when you feel depressed? Do you work harder at things in your life or do you let them go? Next time you feel low, put yourself in a growth mindset—think about learning, challenging, confronting obstacles. Think about effort as a positive, constructive force, not as a big drag. Try it out.”

She continues: “It would be nice if this didn’t happen, but it’s irrelevant. It might be easier to mobilize for action if I felt better but it doesn’t matter. The plan is the plan. Remember the depressed students with the growth mindset? The worse they felt, the more they did the constructive thing. The less they felt like it, the more they made themselves do it. The critical thing is to make a concrete, growth-oriented plan, and to stick to it.”

Personally, when I’m feeling the stress gremlins start to rally, I (usually!) take the time to step back and look at what I’m NOT doing that I need to be doing.

And, I commit to *really* rockin’ whatever blissipline I’ve identified that might have slipped.

Tim Sanders touches on this in Today We Are Rich (see Notes + Class). Context: Tim’s coaching a friend of his, Eric, whose life has capsized. Tim asks him: “What are you not doing today that you were doing when I first met you?” “I’m not sure what you mean,” Eric said, laughing nervously. “What investments in yourself and others are you no longer making?” I asked. “What daily or weekly practices for a better you have fallen by the wayside?””

So, if you’re struggling (or just want to turn it up a notch or ten), I ask you: What are you NOT doing today that were doing when you were *most* on fire with your life? What daily or weekly practices have fallen by the wayside?

Now a good time to get on that? :)

That’s a pretty big difference. :)

Imagine that.

The disciplined shall inherit the earth.

I like it.

And, in the process, the disciplined shall also inherit heaven on earth as there’s no faster way to experience joy than to live in integrity with our highest values and close the gap between what we’re capable of doing in any given moment and what we’re actually doing.

As we’ve discussed many times, the Greeks called this “areté.” Living with areté or virtue/excellence/expressing your highest potential was the route to true, sustainable flourishing and happiness.

So…

Let’s get our discipline on and inherit heaven AND earth, shall we? :)

P.S. Discipline is synonymous with “willpower” which scientists tell us is THE most important virtue. Here’s a peek at some great wisdom nuggets:

In The Power of Habit (see notes), Charles Duhigg tells us: “Dozens of studies show that willpower is the single most important keystone habit for individual success.”

In Willpower (see Notes), Roy Baumeister (one of the world’s most cited psychologists) tells us: “Improving willpower is the surest way to a better life.”

And, in The Willpower Instinct, Stanford professor Kelly McGonigal tells us: “We may all have been born with the capacity for willpower, but some of us use it more than others. People who have better control of their attention, emotions, and actions are better off almost any way you look at it. They are happier and healthier. Their relationships are more satisfying and last longer. They make more money and go further in their careers. They are better able to manage stress, deal with conflict, and overcome adversity. They even live longer. When pit against other virtues, willpower comes out on top. Self-control is a better predictor of academic success than intelligence (take that, SATs), a stronger determinant of effective leadership than charisma (sorry, Tony Robbins), and more important for marital bliss than empathy (yes, the secret to lasting marriage may be learning how to keep your mouth shut). If we want to improve our lives, willpower is not a bad place to start.”

P.P.S. This all begs the question: How can YOU get your discipline/willpower on today?

That’s funny.

It’s REALLY easy to get all wrapped up in a pretty knot of ideas and fancy plans.

Sometimes it makes a lot more sense to cut through all that and just get to work.

How about we let go of our fears and doubts and worries and lean into the strategic plan known as “doing things” a little more today (and tomorrow and… :)!