After I wrote those last couple of +1s (here and here), I shared them with the Wifey as we were making breakfast.
She told me that I should write another +1 talking about what SHE thinks is what made Emerson so fired up to go to the tournament.
I follow Wifey’s orders. 🫡
So…
Let’s get to work. 😉
Now…
After some micro-flashes of frustration, I flipped the switch and committed to embodying the joy, love, and encouragement of being a good, wise mentor/dad-wingman—holding high standards WHILE maintaining high levels of warmth and support.
Here’s what Alexandra wanted me to share.
After we all decided it was best to sleep on the decision of whether or not he’d play in the upcoming tournament, I told Emerson: “Buddy. I am SO PROUD of you. You have worked so extraordinarily hard (and consistently!) over the last two years.”
Then I said: “There’s always a chance that you might play poorly but… I think there’s also a chance you could CRUSH it and get your rating even higher. Want to do the math and see where you could wind up after the tournament?!”
Enter: The shift from playing not to lose (OR NOT PLAYING AT ALL!!) to PLAYING TO WIN!!
Now…
The U.S. Chess Federation website has a “ratings predictor” widget thing that you can use to see how many rating points you might win (or lose!) depending on how you do against your opponents.
The quality of the opponents at the Austin Grandmaster Chess Academy is REALLY high—which means that even if Emerson loses he wouldn’t lose *that* many points BUT if he wins, he could get A LOT of points—which is precisely how he got 200 points in 2 weeks: by playing really well against really good opponents.
So…
Long story slightly shorter, we did the math.
And…
We saw that even if he did, in fact suck, he’d only lose a certain number of points. His rating would STILL be over 1800 and he’d STILL be in the Top 100 for his age group.
Then…
I said: “You want to see what could happen if you WON 2 or 3 or 4 of the games you’re going to play?”
Him: “YES!!”
We entered the info and there was a chance that, if he played REALLY (!) well and won ALL FOUR games, he could get his rating up from 1883 all the way over 2000 (which is his goal for about seven months from now).
The odds of him winning all four games were very low because he’d have to beat a kid who is a 2350.
But…
He was like…
“I could get to 2000?!?”
I was like…
“Dude. Yah. It’s crazy. And if you get 3 wins, you’d be over 1900.”
And…
After a night with some upset and questioning whether he wanted to play in the tournament and all that…
You know what the LAST thing he said to his Mommy was before they fell asleep?
“I can get to 2000!!”
And…
He woke up the next morning.
Decided to play in the tournament the following day.
He played in the tournament.
He went 3-1.
He got his U.S. Chess Federation rating over 1900.
And…
That’s more than enough about our family.
Let’s Focus on YOU and YOUR Heroic family.
Question time…
Are there parts of your life in which you are playing not to lose and/or NOT PLAYING at all because you’re afraid to lose?
Embrace the fact that, as Campbell says, when we’re on our Heroic quests there’s ALWAYS a chance for a fiasco.
And…
There’s ALSO the chance for bliss.
Let’s embrace the pain, uncertainty and constant work of life.
And…
LET’S PLAY TO WIN.
All day.
Every day.
Especially…
TODAY.
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