#727 Looking for Love (2.0)

As we’ve discussed, I absolutely love Love 2.0 by Barbara Fredrickson.

As a super-introverted guy, it’s easy for me to get lost in my own thought bubbles and forget to exit what Barbara calls our “cocoon of self-absorption.”

In the process of spending so much time lost in our own thoughts and/or smartphone screens, we miss out on a huge part of our humanity by not experiencing those TINY little “micro-moments” of positivity resonance in which our entire body’s neurochemistry (and vagal tone, etc. etc. etc.) gets a little Optimized.

So…

Since I read her book years ago, I’ve been constantly looking for those Love 2.0 opportunities.

My Trail has proven to be one of the richest sources to mine for these special little moments. (The Trail and the grocery store checkout line without a smartphone = Lovemines!)

Although I can still slip into the ol’ cocoon, looking for these moments is now pretty much my default mode.

So…

This morning I had an epic little interaction. And I had another one a couple days ago.

First, a couple days ago.

I’m driving up to the Trail. It’s pretty early. There’s a guy finishing up. He’s super jacked. I roll up, roll down my window and say, “Dude! You’re jacked!! Super inspiring. What are you training for?!”

Note: By the tone of my approach to this interaction, you may think that I’m Mr. Outgoing Small Talker. To be clear: I’m NOT. (Hah.)

In fact, a) I strongly dislike “small” talk and b) It wasn’t until I started cultivating this Love 2.0 practice that I got comfortable initiating little interactions like this.

Anyway, back to me and Cap’n Jacked.

He smiles, comes over to the car and gives me a fist bump as he says thanks. Then he tells me he does ultras and is training for a 100-miler in June.

I’m like, “That’s amazing.” “What did you do today?”
Cap’n Jacked: “Oh, I just ran out to the tower.”
Me: (I have no idea where/how far that is. lol) “How far was that?”
CJ: “Oh, about 20 miles.”
Me: “Hah. Nice!!!” “What time did you start?”
CJ: “Like 4:00. I have a little baby now so I’ve got to get out early.”
Me: “Wow. You’re awesome. Thanks for the inspiration, man!”

After a little more chit chat (max 2-3 min total), I’m buzzing with all the goodness Professor Fredrickson promises we’ll experience and I’m pretty sure he is, too.

Love 2.0 for the win!

Fast forward to this morning. I’m on the Trail finishing up the last 5 minutes of my cool down (carrying my shoes for the last few minutes Fix Your Feet style; Heroic tank is off). I walk by a couple. The guy is a young, tattooed-out, sunglasses-wearing guy. Kinda hard looking—not your normal hiker. 😎)

I genuinely admired his tattoos (and his swagger) so, as I’m walking by, I say: “Love your tattoos, man.” To which he stops and replies. “Thanks! And I love your body! I was just telling my girlfriend that I want that your six-pack!” (Hah! I’ll take it!)

I’m like, “Dude! Thanks, man.” Then we have a super-quick chat on nutrition/etc. I tell him I’m slightly jealous of his tattoos as my Wifey won’t let me get any more (hah) and we carry on.

Love 2.0.

I’m buzzing with all the goodness Professor Frederickson promises we’ll experience and I’m pretty sure he is, too.

Micro-moments of positivity resonance.

The science is clear: These little moments are REALLY important to our well-being.

So…

Today’s +1.

See if you can create a little Love 2.0 moment Today.

Quit staring at your screen long enough to exit your cocoon of self-absorption and CONNECT with someone.

Repeat tomorrow.

Love 2.0. + 2.0 + 2.0!!! 😍